Okay Fine! I’ll Get a Manicure!

This time of the year brings about a lot of stress for me, and I am assuming I am not alone in feeling this way. And if you are anything like me, your nails suffer from stressful times. I am not talking like the little oh-my-gosh-i-broke-my-pinky-nail-my -life-is-over either. I am referring to the fact that it looks like I went to war and wrestled a darn grizzly with my bare hands. My nails are nonexistent in the winter months and are constantly doused in blood and bandaids. And surprise it is all because I am Katniss Everdeen! I actually shoot arrows and cook birds and do outdoorsy things like that on the reg right in my suburban backyard. Sorry not sorry next door neighbors that shield their kids from every drop of violence!

But seriously, I have gotten to the point where there is nothing else for me to do except get acrylic manicures. It is the only way to cover up my nails without being able to pick them apart. I am considering getting red or something festive for the Christmas time, but honestly I am not sure if I can pull off red. I am not freaking Gwen Stefani okay?! Geez, I am more like Flo from the progressive commercial. Not kidding I can rock the hell out of an apron. Ask my teacher from elementary school chef camp. I was bitchin in that dang kitchen.

One of my annoyances with getting manicures is that without fail, every single darn time that I go into the nail salon, a crowd of nail ladies swarm over to my nails and ask why the absolute heck they look like shit. Like geez Louise ladies, can a girl catch a break? I have already been verbally assaulted by my own mother for single handedly destructing my nails. I know they’re no Kylie Jenner daggers. I just came in here for a relaxing time. And okay, also the free lifesavers. But mostly the relaxing time.

Anyways, stress is a real buzz kill on the realz. What do you all do combat stress? Do you have the finger situation, too? What color do you suggest I on get my nails? Let a b know!

Way Up Feelin #Blessed

Want to know what is cool? No, it is not those mittens that double as gloves when you take the tops off, although you KNOW darn well I have multiple pairs of those babies. It is not even the OG girl scout cookie, mint chip ice-cream from Bruster’s only available during the spring months. The longer I live, the more I realize that Jesus is the coolest, most incredible (ya, I only know descriptive adjectives on the second grade level 😉 ) God imaginable.

As I sit here on my futon in my dorm room avoiding studying for finals as any girl with borderline grades should not be doing, I cannot help but to be overwhelmed by Jesus. Overwhelmed by the sacrifices He made for not only me, but for each and every one of us. And I cannot help but to be hopeful.

I am so hopeful that there is purpose in all of this suffering. I am so hopeful that God truly does work all things together for the good of those who love Him. I am so hopeful that Jesus is exactly who He says He is.

So now as I peel the blankets off of me and head on to what feels like a seventy-three mile walk to the library (in reality it is probably .2 miles), I will probably shed a few tears of joy knowing that The King of the universe gave His one and only Son so that I may have eternal life. (Ya again, I am a #weaksauce from time to time. No shame.)

I want to leave the one to two readers of this blog with this verse because it is truly one of the dankest, and it has truly been carrying me through these past few months. Let me know which verse you have been digging recently!

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light, momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” – 2Corinthians 4:16-18

Catching up on the Basic B Stories (and by Basic B I mean Basic Bible) ;)

A few weeks ago, I found myself in the gospel of Mark, which is pretty unusual for me because I tend to float more towards Esther when I am just reading the Bible for the heck of it. This is obviously due to the fact she is actually a boss ass b. Fight me on that one. Anyways, I grew up avoiding church at all costs. I did not want to be associated with what I considered to be boring, unfunny, judgmental people. Because of this, when I was supposed to be at church learning about God per my dad’s requests, I would actually be driving to local smoothie and acai bowl restaurants and sipping those dranks and snacks instead. Ya, I was a holy mofo.

Long story short, I missed out on a lot of what is considered to be common knowledge to Christians. So when I started reading Mark 8:1-13, which is titled Jesus Feeds the Four Thousand, I was honestly blown away. Not even like a little hair caught on your chapstick blown away; I am talking full-force, Carrie Underwood soundtrack Blown Away people.

I live in Athens, which is a college town. Downtown Athens happens to be filled with numerous homeless individuals. If you know me, you know that for some unknown reason, homeless people really have a special place in my heart. Not kidding, if I just see a homeless person, there is a good chance I will start crying because it just breaks my heart. I’m a #weaksauce for real.

ANYWAYS, in this passage I was reading, the first thing that Jesus says to these people without food or anything at all before He performs this miracle is that He has compassion on them. He does not ask why they are in the position that they are in. He does not ask why they do not have jobs. He does not ask if they do drugs. He does not ask if they spent their money frivolously, and that is why they are in the position they are in. No. The first thing that my God does is have compassion on them. (My God is also a #boss).

I know it can be hard to simply have compassion, especially if you live in a place where common advice is quite the contrary… if it is that if you do not like the way your life is going, change it. I know because I have received that advice so often. It can be hard if everyone around you, yourself included, has never been in the situation as the one struggling. Heck, having compassion can be difficult for a number of reasons. But it can be done. Jesus has shown that it is not only possible, but it has happened. Having compassion as a reflex has happened.

Jesus is hinting at me (and by hinting at me I mean throwing a microwave at my head) through all of this passage to make compassion my reflex.

This really has quite literally nothing to do with the gym or anything like that, but it is a lot more important. Life is but a breath. Focus on things above. Focus on The Lord. But still do not forget to focus on the #gainz amirite ;).

 

What I’ve Learned in College thus Far

I am not perfect. I am not, and I will never claim to be.

I came into college messy, broken, and deeply saddened. I did not come into college like I once thought I would. I did not feel excitement when rushing to join a sorority, so I dropped out of rush. I grew up thinking everyone joined a sorority. I did not feel a sense of community when I met with the first small group I was placed with, so I stopped going to that small group. I have been told for the past two years that I have been a Christian that small groups are where you thrive and truly grow in your faith. I tried so many different clubs and organizations, but none of them made me feel anything great, or anything at all. And this confused me.

It confused me because I grew up telling everyone that college was going to be the best four years of my life. I grew up telling my neighbors I could not wait to leave them all in the dust (sorry neighbors 😉 ). I could not wait to truly be independent. To be alone.

But that is not what The Lord wants for anyone.

The Lord does not concern Himself with you having the perfect college experience. He does not care about you maintaining the same grades you had in high school. He is not worried about you getting into the best sorority and having the perfect big. He is not concerned with you having the best four years of your life. He does not want you to leave behind everything and go on alone. He does not want you to run to all of these different things- Christian oriented or not. He wants you to run to Him.

Jesus Christ came to save the messy. The broken. The confused. The lost. Jesus Christ ate with the sinners. He ate with the Christian that came to college, but even still got a little too crazy just last weekend (me). He ate with her, and He did not leave her because of her mistakes. Jesus does not want you to eat alone. He does not want you to be independent. He wants you to come to Him. He wants you to have a relationship with Him. To trust Him.

Matthew 11:28 literally says “come to me”. Jesus desires a relationship with you. He wants you so badly, whether you are tired, weary, and broken or not. You were not made to be independent. Not at all. You were made for relationships, most importantly a relationship with the Creator.

So, like it says in Hebrews 4:14-16, let us hold fast our confession, the confession that God is not ever disappointed in you because of what Jesus has done, and draw near to the thrown of grace. Draw near to The Lord.

speak UP BISHEZ

I am very annoyed with myself because I keep finding myself in situations where I fail to stand up for myself. (And yes, I did just use “myself” three times in the same sentence… Suck it Mrs. Brand!!!).

I could list many excuses as to why this reoccurs so often in my life. My favorites are that I am too lazy to say something. I am too tired to say something. I just forgot to say something. I use those three a bit too much on a daily basis.

But if I am honest with myself, it is because I am scared. I am scared of other people, and I am most definitely scared of those people being angry at me or raising their voices or throwing something or being violent. I just do not like to risk it WHATSOEVER.

That is a shitty way to live.

Knowing your worth is of the utmost importance. Standing up for yourself does not mean the other person will steal your credit card information, thus winding up stealing your identity (Lol… this was my excuse as to why I could not speak up once; I am not at all kidding). It means you will not allow people to treat you like an object, garbage, a third wheel, a side hoe… You get the point.

Do not live in fear. That is not living. Speak up, take the necessary risks, and TRUST, TRUST, TRUST that God makes all things work together for the good of those that believe in Him. (Trust is hard; trust is also worth the risk).

So, this could mean saying that no offense, but you do not actually like the dinner Mom (lol). This could also mean a lot more serious things. You decide what is appropriate for you, and act upon that.

What THE FREAKIN HECK…

Scrolling through my instagram realizing that a large group of teenage/mid-twenties girls I follow are selling macro plans and “coaching” with absolutely NO qualifications whatsoever (um no, working out/competing/liking fitness/etc is ABSOLUTELY NOT a qualification) to not only the general population, but they are targeting girls with EDs/disordered habits… I am APPALLED.

First of all, gaining weight does not mean anything to me. No offense, but you could gain 0 pounds or 100 pounds or lose 3950 pounds and still be mentally stuck. Healthy weight with a sprinkle of abs does not equal recovery or a degree in dietetics. Gaining weight does not give you the right to be a “nutritional coach”. What in the absolute freaking HECK does that even mean?!?!?! My grandmother or my old fish, Sonya, could call themselves nutritional coaches because it takes NOTHING to be one. SO WHAT? You tell someone to eat veggies and protein for $250 a month? Freaking wow incredible advice you dumb, money hungry bish. (Lol so mad.)

I have said it once, and you bet I will say it again. DO NOT TRUST RANDOM GIRLS ON THE INTERNET WITH YOUR HEALTH. I personally understand and have experienced how listening to some random teenager’s advice on doing blahblahblah and eating blahblahblah can create some reallllllllllllly unhealthy habits that um take um a lot effort to um reverse (as in trying hard now) and blahblahblah.

So all in all, PLEASE… PLEASE do not trust “nutritionists”. Trust people with degrees, trust ACTUAL sources. plz plz plz. It is not worth your health and/or sanity. KKKKKKK BYEEEEEEEEEEE.

IMG_5288

also felt the need to show this picture i took one time of an ostrich. I was in WALKING DISTANCE BISHEZZZZZ.

I Eat ERRRRYTHANGGG

Hello bishes. It’s been more than a week… SUE ME. I’ve been extremely busy as per usual, so there really is no excuse. But I am realllllly fired up about this topic of diets. I will try to control myself but um💁🏼. 

First of all, I am honestly BAFFLED as to how it is now more common to be vegan or vegetarian or paleo or gluten free or whatever the heck it may be than to just be. In my house alone, I have vegan, a vegetarian, and someone who is weird about sugar. No, none of these things are bad per say. Actually, I was vegan for four months and vegetarian for 2&1/2 years until the day I started prepping for my first competition. But, these diets are restricting. Very restricting. If you are recovering from any sort of restrictive ED, then you don’t need to be following them until you are mentally recovered. After that, do whatever the heck you want with your intake as long as you aren’t using these diets to restrict. 

For me, being vegan was easy. It allowed me to be in control and whatever. Same with vegetarianism. It just allows you to restrict certain food groups with no questions asked. No one concerns themselves with why you aren’t eating specific foods because it is the new normal to do so. I don’t even know why. This is very harmful because it is comfortable to stay within this diet, thus you are staying comfortable in restriction. You will make little to no mental progress. You’ll be mentally confined. The day I started prepping for my first competition is the day i made a lot of progress because I was forced to eat meat and a high fat macro split, both groups I used to avoid. Now I cannot imagine a day without minimum 4 TBLS of peanut butter and chicken with hot sauce. 

Basically, restricting certain foods or food groups and justifying it with veganism or paleo eating or whatever is not normal or healthy. Sorry. It isn’t. Although society now views all these types of diets as normal, know that you don’t have to follow them. Everyone is different and everyone’s backgrounds are different. I would never encourage anyone who has any sort of restrictive behaviors to jump on any of these diet band wagons. No food should ever be viewed as bad or off limits. Life is too short to ban carbs or fats or proteins or eggs or meat or cake. Live fully and just be an everything eater in moderation. Healthy is a relative term and no one knows your body and mindset better than you. K BYEEEE
My cabinet of fats above. 

Some icecream I had for breakfast above. 

I love all food groups and will never restrict any foods ever again lol🍦🍕💕🤘🏽🤑